dreamer

The curse of a dreamer is her dream. For I've dreamed my way through grade school, through high school, through Bible School out onto the other side and those who have heard my dream have exclaimed, "Great Dream! keep dreaming, Dreamer!" And I dream along, wonder at my dreams, try to contain my dreams, question my dreams, wait for my dreams. Life permits one to live in a dream only so long, though I fear not my dreams, I do fear me without dreams. I fear me becoming no dream, me doing another's dreams. I would dream on, and I probably will, but my dreams seem so dreamy and everyone knows a dreamy dream can only get me far. I suppose I'll reach my dreams some day, but I live now at arms length of my dream, hoping to not be known as the dreamer who once dreamt.

deadline

I gave myself an unrealistic deadline to finish my book by today. It is nowhere near completed. Perhaps we give ourselves deadlines sometimes to make us feel bad. Regardless, I'm still writing. And somehow i feel like my life is waiting (in this perpetual funk) until i finish the book about being in this perpetual funk while I feel like I can't find the motivation to write sometimes because I am in this perpetual funk.