not so rainy season

thick humidity hangs in the air these days. it makes me want to change my clothes by 9 am.
this is the rainy season, everyone keeps saying that. july is the month of rain. the rain is coming, it's coming. that's what they keep saying. but, it isn't raining. it's just hanging in the sky, clinging to the clouds, making it really hard to want to do much these days. nothing much beyond sitting and waiting for the rain.

some days the caffeine from my morning cup of coffee affects me more than other days. it makes me feel hipper and anxious and nervous. other days it doesn't do squat.

today i feel nervous. i feel an anxious anticipation for something that is coming. and, i don't know if it's good or bad. and so, because i don't know, because i can't know, i imagine. i wonder often how in the world i ended in korea. i certainly never saw that one coming.

i like surprises, i welcome adventure. and sometimes, i think its worse to go back to what i know that to enter into something new and potentially thrilling.

i'm not sure i'm ready to settle back into something so ordinary.