korea whom i love and hate and love

the korea experience thus far has been a painful dichotomy of love/hate.
i love.
i hate.
i love.
i hate.
teaching english, i hate.
disorganized korean-styled schools, i hate.
miscommunication, misunderstanding, mistaken identity, i hate.

korean spontaneity, i love.
korean food, i love.
becoming an insider of culture so far from my own, i love.

but there is little happy medium here.
little falls between this pendulum swing.
i am miserable.
i am filled with an inexpressible joy.
i am miserable.

this i know, i am not cut out for this job. not naturally at least.
now, whether that means i should escape, i know not. not yet at least.

perhaps, if i had my way (an impossible dream, of course), i would run away from here, bringing with me the smattering of food and spontaneity and korean peeps and posse i have grown to love. but, i would escape from this job which i hate. and, i would instead find something i love.

korea is indescribably awful and indescribably wonderful. it is both even as that is impossible.
and i hate it and i love it and i hate it and i love it...