Korea is going to be hard. Not much is resembling my expectations for this place. Korea itself is gloriously beautiful, with mountains that I somehow didn't notice until my third day here and an immensity of rice fields. Literally, the rice fields have captivated me most. Harvest of the fields has just begin and I stood for long time today watching one man yank up rice in a field solo. He seems so OK with being the only one to conquer the massive field, and he seems so like the subject of a picture calender entitled, "Korea landscapes". This land is beautiful, but not cocky about it.
Tomorrow, I will get my first glimpse at the big city of Seoul. This, I think, will help to solidify the reality of my geographical location. Because right now, I feel more like I'm in Epcot or perhaps in an American city's "Korea Town". I don't think I realize I am in Asia.
Regarding the school, my job, I am not sure I am going to survive. Or, perhaps, I am simply not sure that I will thrive. For, I am here on such an unexplainable impulse, that I cannot help but wonder if this whole thing is a serious mistake.
I don't know if I even like kids enough to be excited about this. I don't know if I like Asia enough to be excited about this. I don't know if I will even make it without loosing a sense of who I am. For this is so not who I am. This position is forcing me to tap into places within me that I established as weaknesses long ago. And now I am here, with only my weaknesses to use for the next year. I suppose, when I say it that way, it doesn't sound so bad. And of course, someone is bound to throw at me the "when you are weak, God is strong" rubbish at me. But, this is seeming like the impossibly hard way of learning some lessons from God.
2 comments:
girl oh girl oh girl!
Well I am so glad to hear that you have arrived safely. But I am sad to hear that it sounds pretty awful. It will probably be like losing weight, you can't look at how far you have to go, just keep in mind how many pounds you've lost. Four days already are finished. I'm not gonna give you any christian cliches! But I will be praying for you. And that's a promise! Hang in there and keep on blogging. It could be good therapy and it really is cool to be able to read about how things are going for you. ~Lori (Lia's mom:))
I'm praying for you. I suppose that sounds cliche, but there are some who really do mean what we say. I will pray that the reality and reliability of God's word will be revealed to you. (wow, that's a lot of "R" words...sounds like a sermon topic. Sorry! )
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